To everybody I've ever talked to and cares: please read this.

[Guest]

They thought that my tumour was benign. They were wrong. Well, they might have been wrong. A piece might have broken off and lodged itself elsewhere, because I took a pretty hard fall off my horse onto a jump standard (look it up it holds the poles that the land whale jumps babes) I knocked it down with my stomach. I had a little bit of internal bleeding and a pretty damaged shoulder. It's fixed now.

Anyway. They still think it's benign, because it hasn't grown, and they haven't found much growth where the other piece of it went. Which was my lung. My left lung, just behind my heart. I have lung cancer. They're going to operate the living shit out of my lung in a couple of weeks. Thankfully, shaw open wifi is all over the hospital I'm going to, my mom's best friend (also my aunt type thing) works there, as well as my best friend's mom.

I will never be alone, because I'll have people with me during visiting hours, and I'll be here as soon as those are over.
I'm going to the hospital in two days, and becoming and in-patient.
This is not the worst news I've ever heard. Aj and my grandfather (Grandy) and the fact that my sister might elope instead of getting married (cry for that. I was gonna be her photographer) were all much worse than this. I'm being given a second chance; not many people get that. I'm trying to look up about it, even though I can't really sleep because if I lay on my side I cough but if I lay any other way I can't sleep so screw sleeping SLEEP IS FOR THE WEEK AMIRITE.

My teachers have given me their emails and skypes, my english teacher even gave me her phone number in case I ever need anything, and her daughter who is a couple years older than me is in the hospital too. She had pneumonia and ruptured a lung, but she's all better and she's leaving soon. Her name is Melanie and she's very pretty.

Anyways. My activity might be low. I'll try my best to keep it up, I'm still taking the provincial exam and final in english, even though my teacher said I could be excused; I want to live like a normal person even if I might die.
I'm trying to be optimistic because "depression isn't a side affect of cancer; depression is a side affect of dying." I refuse to die before I've lived enough for Aj and seen my sister married and my brothers graduated.

*Sorry Satan, you'll have to chill on your own for a bit.

I can't just abandon you guys with Feather now, can I? Lol. nope. you'd corrupt her lil mind. Silly Verine. And Cass. And Kassiel YOU THINK FEATHER CAN HANDLE AN AFFAIR ON HER OWN? SHE NEEDS ME.

I love you all. I'm sorry to burden you all; I thought I should let you know. I care about, and love, all of you.
Personal messages:

how do i do the spoiler thingy like the promotions. gimme a minute *goes to promotion posts*

OKAY. Here go your personal messages.

Maverick:

BM100/Jeames/Navin:

Kanaya/Dido:

Kahlua:

Izzi:

Gravity:

Kain:

Verine:

Roki:

Caro:

Cass:

Okay. Before you all freak out, those are absolutely not good bye letters. Those are just some things I want you all to know about yourselves and I hope they make you happy a little bit. I guess that's what everybody wants. To make others feel something with their words. Well, I love you all. You're all incredible. I mean every word in those. You're all incredible people.

I think we all need a more positive outlook on life. Remember, being sad, it's a chemical imbalance in our brain, it's literally all in your head. You just say frick science and you seratonin yourself. Go outside in the sun, and go outside in the rain. Just go outside. Go outside and you rock that weather. If it's raining, don't take an umbrella or a hood or anything. Soak yourself in natural purity. Love that shniz. I dare you.

Thank you all for reading this.. I really appreciate all of you. If I missed anybody in those messages, I want you to PM me and I'll send you one or edit it in here. Do it. Go out of your way and tell me to get my shit together and handle the situation likE A BOSS.
I love you all. I really, really do. You're my family, and my best friends, and I love you all. Equally.

[BM100]

When I read your personal message to me I cried, but no tears of sadness. C':

You've got some shit going girl, but I'm so glad you're thinking the positive way. You have the will to survive, to live, and you show it. It's great you're being given a second chance, and you should take it with both hands!
You're so much more strong and brave than I am: you won't give up and make the best out of things. I really admire you, you know that? <3
I'm sure you will get through this, no, I'm POSITIVE you will. And we will all be here for you with every step you take. <3

Now go to that hospital and grab a wheelchair, go sit in it and go roll through the hallways in it for me, okay? It's fun. Go completely wild an live life to the fullest. >D <3
I love you girl, hnnnng~ <3

[Guest]

You've got one heck of a story, girl.
I'm crying so hardcore right now, yet it's a strange emotion. Somewhere inbetween sadness, happiness, and inspiration. This stepped me back from the edge a little bit. YOU are an inspiration. So many stupid things have happened to you, non of which anybody deserves, but you just keep on trudging through all of it. You will get through this no matter what happens. I'm pretty sure you just said the nicest words anybody has ever said to me. So much so that I felt that nothing I could say would ever amount to what you've done for me in simply still fighting. Because of this I almost didn't respond, but I felt that it would be unjust to let my appreciation simply fade into darkness. It's for that I salute you, never stop fighting. As for the book, I'm going to read the brains out of it. You have my snapchat, and I think you have my kik if you ever need to talk to me.

[Verine]

My beautiful babe.<3

I feel like this is almost too personal, like I have to PM you or something, but I wont. c':

And I'll do what you said--You know me so well. That you would remember to tell me to calm down is priceless love. But you know I need to get all gushy anyways.<3
You are Badass extreme, and everyone knows it. We offered to beat up so many people all the time for others, and if I had to take someone out with anybody, it'd be with you. We went through the same Carter shit; Don't let me make bad choices anymore babe cx

You need to know that you really helped me. Like, really helped me--Depression isn't easy, and if it's all in my head, then Im going to go out into the sun. Into the rain. Im going to go up to Canada and twerk on your front lawn till you notice that Im there, and then we can make those beautiful potatoes you made. Omfg. Those looked so good.
And we'd do monster photo shoot sessions, and you'd be the star because you're beautiful and always have been; Every picture is flawless.

This will forever be one of my favorite pictures of you. I would ask if I could show it, but I know you're fine with it; You've always been one of the most confident people on this site. Look at you, being all badass and beautiful at once. That sexy-ass knife in your hand. Oh, and speaking of ass, CHECK YOURS OUT. DAMN GIRL. <3
Channel that confidence you had while taking these pictures, and do what Jea said. Go and get that wheelchair and do crazy-ass stunts that will upset all the doctors. And if you find that hot guy in the hospital again, go and touch his chest. He'll remember you from last time, for sure. cx

We all love you Sarah, beautiful, beautiful Sarah. Intelligent, curious, questioning, uplifting, inspiring, flawless, PERFECT Sarah.
I cant wait to talk to you again; Like we used to when we had each others numbers. Like when you mailed me that letter<3
If I had a glass of wine right now, Sarah, I'd be raising it to you.

I love you. Stay strong babygirl, but I already know that you will.<3

[Maverick]

Feather, what you said means the world to me, and I hope you know that. Honestly, it wasn't me that's been keeping this site active for this long. It's been all of us. I've never run a pack with members like all of you fabulous people logging in everyday just to brighten the hearts of us all. You all are so perfect and everyday I come on here I regret retiring and leaving you all. Yes, Cass, Veri, and Lua have been great staff members, but really, it's you -- the members -- that have been keeping this pack alive. So do not thank me, thank yourself and every other wonderful member that's kind, dedicated, and amazing.

You're too special to be going through all this right now; you don't deserve this. You deserve better. You deserve a life full of joy and happiness... I'm not just saying that; you really do.

If I could, I would visit you everyday in the hospital, and that's because I care. I care about you and everyone else. I hope you know that.

I literally have no idea what else to say, but I will say one more thing: I love you, and you stay strong. You mean something to all of us. Don't you ever forget that.

[Cassiel]

GOD I'm teary eyed now. I fckin love you, okay? Yeah, sure, we wanted to stab each other when we first met but now I just. I WILL BUY THE PLANE TICKETS MYSELF SO YOU CAN GET TF DOWN HERE AND WE CAN RIDE ALL THE RIDES AT DISNEYLAND. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. TWICE. TOGETHER.

You are so much more to me than just a random person on a small lil website that us nerds go on to roleplay. So much more. You're an amazing friend and I've loved all the times we've had together. There have been bad times, awful times, but we've also had some pretty damn great ones too. And we're gonna keep having 'em. We're gonna get loads more inside jokes, we're gonna try to watch another Disney movie together (remember Mulan c':?) and hope that the lag doesn't ruin the whole thing.

AND REMEMBER: YOU'LL KICK CANCER'S ASS. You're so incredibly strong, I know that you'll get through it. So. PULVERIZE CANCER. U HERE ME? FCKIN DESTROY THAT SHIT AND DANCE ON THE ASHES.

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

[Roki]

Omg I am crying so hard right now...ugh...I am really at a loss for words...like I don't know what to say... ;;-;;

I guess for starts I am sorry for all the shix you put up with with me. I am a very hard person to be around and make friends with. Never had a friend till I joined your RP Site BB. I really shut the world out and didn't want any part. All my life I have be pushed aside even by my own parents and...just...omg i fcking love you bb...I love everyone on this site so much! ;-; I really believe you will pull off this and so much more. You are a amazing person and I would fly across the world for you.

If I get upset I will KIK you. I promise. I will wait till you can answer and I will only KIK when I have to so that you don't have to be bothered by me too much... XD

Oh and one last thing...for the millionth time...I don't have a accent and it isn't cute!

Hope to talk to u soon bb~ c':

[Guest]

I love all of you. I changed yours Mave; I decided it wasn't long enough to do you justice. I also changed Kain's because it was more about how needed he is rather than how great he is.

I'm so glad to have you all~
Jeames I absolutely adore you.
Gravy you're the bomb dot com all day every day.
Verine damn my ass looks good in that picture.
Mave you're my idol and I want to be you.
Cass we aren't going on California screaming because it will do more damage than surgery.
ROKI. You kik me as much as you fcking want and I will answer asap every time I will not be bothered by you. I love you.

[Kanaya]

I'm crying.
I love you so much, Sarah. I really do. You mean so much to me and I want you to call me every day because I want you to be able to laugh and feel safe and loved. Every single day.

Stay strong, and know that I'm here for you, baby. Ily. So much.

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